Part I: 5 Things I prayerfully don’t do.

I listen to a podcast called The Balanced Momcast that’s hosted by Sandy Cooper. She has a segment at the end of her show where she asks the guests she interviews what they prayerfully don’t do. I love this part. Women, it seems, are socially tasked with doing all the things, and I’ve often fallen into this trap myself. As a recovering perfectionist, it’s hard not to want to wear all the hats and look dang good in them.

But, as you can imagine, DOING EVERYTHING WILL KILL YOU. Seriously. And when we don’t say “no,” we’re very often saying “yes” to things God never asked us to do in the first place. This leads to exhaustion, overwhelm, and even physical and mental sickness.


So I thought I’d share a few things I prayerfully don’t do (and will follow up with a list of things I prayerfully do do–I’ll probably need to work on that title–next week),

My “To Don’t” List

  1. Social media. Most of my readers already know this, but I just don’t mix with it. It ends up being one of those soul-sucking things where I get irrationally upset/judgy with people, and it makes me stray from the role of a mature follower in Christ. I also tend to play the comparison game, especially with other writers, and that’s just not healthy. God has me on this path, not somebody else’s. So if your right hand causes you to sin, lob that bad boy off. Done!
  2. Watch the news. I find cable news to be an absurd train wreck. I already know how this life is going to pan out (newsflash: not great unless you’re clinging to Jesus), so I like to shut off the noise and just focus on my small sphere of influence, attempting to be encouraging and loving my people through all the tough stuff.
  3. Make Ava’s school lunches. This was a hard one for me because I tend to be a bit of a health nut (for the most part), and I know school lunches aren’t the greatest. But my kid’s taste buds change every two days, and I was tired of putting in a lot of work for something she was giving to her friends who “really like it.” Very flattering but defeats the purpose. We do school lunches now, and I’ll see where we end up next year, but for now, I’m pulling out far less hair out of my head.
  4. Volunteer at Ava’s school. Another thing I could feel helplessly guilty about, but we homeschooled for four years, and I consider this my break. The wonderful thing is Ava’s taken it upon herself to be in charge of her grades/school work, and she’s doing a fantastic job. I think part of this is that I’m not always around, and she’s realizing school is her territory. It’s up to her to do well or don’t do well. And we’ve both decided that since it’s her terrain, I’ll see and hang out with her at home. Works for me!
  5. Anything you see other women doing on Instagram. You know like makeup and hair, planting gardens, scrapbooking, cooking five-course meals, living in a white-walled mansion with a caption that says, “Can’t believe this place has gotten so messy!” when you could literally eat right off the floor. I don’t begrudge others these passions. If this is God’s calling (and not merely a sociological impulse to define yourself as better than your peers…which…could be the case), then high-five, friends. We need people willing to spend five hours making homemade cheese so the rest of us (*RAISES HAND*) can eat it. But I’ve realized I need to stay in my lane. and stay in my season. God has me in my yoga pants/t-shirt uniform combo, with a blank face and messy pony so I can write words and make connections. One day I’ll make that cheese wearing real clothes, dang it. But just not right now.

It’s been releasing (and it might just be because I’m late 30’s old now) to give God every inch and no longer worry about what I’m not doing. Because what I am doing is honoring Him and that means I’m right on track.

What’s on your “to don’t” list?

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2 responses to “Part I: 5 Things I prayerfully don’t do.”

  1. Anna Avatar

    Yep! I don’t do these either 😀 I used to volunteer at my kids’ school but then I realized I couldn’t keep on with all my other responsibilities and God-given calling.

    1. Ericka Clay Avatar

      You go, Anna! I know it’s hard as moms because the world tells us all the things we “have to” do. Who said? If God doesn’t say it, I don’t do it!

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